To Meet You
by Lirillith
Summary: Tifa went on the date with Cloud, but Aerith still has something she wants to say to him...


A/N: Okay, several things for this one. The tense switches throughout are deliberate; she's thinking in present tense, after going to bed, about the events of the previous evening in past. Partway through the story, one character will begin insulting another. This in **no way** reflects my own opinions. I love the character being defamed. So don't flame me over that. I also believe that Aerith and Tifa were good friends, and write accordingly. Last, and probably most important, I do not subscribe to the "Aerith knows what's coming" theory. 

To Meet You

  


When I stepped out of the bathroom, I knew. The room felt empty. It was just me, and the steam, and two double beds. So I went back in and wrapped a second bath towel around my head. I'd call housekeeping for a replacement later, but Tifa wouldn't be showering right away. I wrapped up in my bathrobe and sat on the bed furthest from the door, putting lotion on my hands and legs, waiting for her to come back. 

Maybe I'm weird, but it's never bothered me that she cares about him. Maybe I should get upset – after all, she was going on a date with the man I love. Maybe it's my Cetra blood speaking up, telling me "In the end, it's not that important." In the end, we all love each other, and it doesn't really matter who kisses who. But even with that, I love him now, and I can't help wishing he'd turn to me first, smile Zack's smile at me and ask if I'm okay. 

That's probably it. That's what made me say "I call dibs on the shower" not long after she came in. It wasn't my Cetra blood. It was just that I watched him flirt with her. I watched his smile - Zack's smile, a Soldier's smile, confident, but trying to impress. For her, he's the macho man, the flirt. With me, he's a clueless kid, stammering and helpless. It's sweet, and I know what it means that I make him act like that, but it's not quite the same. 

He tries to impress her. It's not just about who she is, though I'm sure it's that too – it's who she was. Something about their past together. He never talks about it, but I get the feeling he wants to prove something to her, show the friend from his past that he's more than he used to be. He gave up on impressing me, because it didn't work. In a fight, he'll protect me, or run over to see if I'm okay, but once he's sure of that he looks over at Tifa to see if she noticed how he did. It must have worked. 

"If he's in love with two at once, he's not actually in love with either," people always tell each other. But I don't think I believe that. Eventually the balance will tip to one or the other, but for now I think he loves us both. Maybe I shouldn't keep calling it love, but it's something, and that's as fitting a word as any. She's not as sure of his feelings as I am, I can tell. I hoped the date would do her good. I hoped they were having fun. That's why I took my shower; the noise masked her exit. She walked out, probably trying to convince herself she wasn't sneaking behind my back even as she hoped the floorboards weren't creaking too loudly, and pulled him out of his room. The date of a lifetime. I admit I'm jealous of that, because when else would you get a chance like this? It'd be so romantic. 

That's why I was surprised when I heard the key in the lock, more surprised when she stepped into view. "Yuffie?" I asked, my voice actually squeaking, "I thought—" and I started to notice her head was down and she didn't look at me as she slouched past, "—you were..." She threw herself down on the other bed, her whole body contracting in a sob and a wail. "Yuffie, what is it?" 

"He hates me!" she wailed. "And that _slut_ is gonna— she's gonna—" 

"What? Who?" I patted her shoulder helplessly. 

"Tifa! I went to ask him out and— and he said no!" she burst out with another wail. "And so I left, and that, that WHORE is heading for his room! I know why he turned me down!" 

"Yuffie. Sweetheart. He turned you down because you're too young, that's all! You're barely sixteen. Tifa's almost his same age. You should be with someone _your_ own age." 

"He just wants to be with someone with tits," she sniffled into the bedspread. I shook my head, not that she could see, though I had a momentary impulse to smack her silent. It's not like I've never been insecure, but she's not trying to hit me with this, or at least not deliberately. 

I chose my words carefully. "Yuffie, Tifa really cares about Cloud. And they've known each other a long time. I don't grudge them some time together. I don't see any reason to." 

"You think it's just a friends thing?" 

"It could be." Or it might not be. 

"Yeah, I see what you mean, and you know he was totally flirting with me and everything. I mean, he may like her too, since men are all sluts, but that doesn't mean he hates me, you're right. And..." I found myself tuning her out. It's not just a friends thing, not for Tifa. She lives and dies by the look on his face. I sort of do, too, more than I like to admit. But when she walked into the room this evening, she started talking about the dinner and Red XIII and how to split up the beds and everything else, until I finally figured out how to let her go after him. 

"...and it'd be kinda creepy, I guess, with me not even legal. Thanks, Aerith." 

"You're welcome. Go on and wash your face now, okay?" 

"You sound like my maid," she complained, but she jumped off the bed and headed for the bathroom. 

"And Yuffie, would you mind not calling Tifa those names anymore? She's our friend." 

"She's _your_ friend." 

"Would you mind?" I repeated, patiently. 

"Okay, whatever. Wasn't like I meant anything by 'em." 

I sighed and went into the bathroom to comb my hair. 

* * *

It was much later when she came in, nearly midnight. I was sitting by the window, reading by the light of the small lamp and the fake lightning outside. Mostly, I was thinking. I wanted to tell Cloud how I felt, tell him about the things I wonder about. I'm almost sure I've seen the real Cloud underneath the exterior. I hope I have. 

"How was the date?" I asked her, very quietly. 

"What? Oh. It was good," she murmured, looking at the sleeping lump in the first bed. 

"I guess we'll have to share. She wanted some wine, but I just gave her sparkling grape juice. She convinced herself she was tipsy and went to sleep hours ago. I'd hate to climb in and disturb her, plus she's already swiped all the covers." 

"I'm sorry, Aerith." 

"What for?" For dating him? "All's fair, remember?" 

"I meant... well, you said you wanted to go to that temple, so you'll need to be up early tomorrow, and I kick like a chocobo." 

"Oh, it's no problem. Not really your fault." 

"Yeah. Um, Aerith? There's... uh... we're out of ice. And I... don't know where the ice machine is." 

I opened my mouth to give her directions, more than a bit irritably – she must have passed it a half-dozen times today, not to mention the last time we stayed here, and I'd already changed for bed, so she could just go get it herself. But then I realized she was giving me an excuse. I gave her a huge grin and snagged the ice bucket on the way out of the room. Times like this make me very glad I have cute pajamas. 

As I'd half expected, from the way she was acting, he was slouched out in the hall. "Cloud?" I asked. 

"Oh. Hi, Aerith." 

"You and Tifa have fun on your date?" 

"Yeah. It was nice. Well, until we found our spy." 

I went cold. "You did?" Not Tifa. Couldn't have been, not possibly. And Yuffie was with me. Who? 

"Cait Sith. He's under remote control. Stole the Keystone, gave it to the Turks." 

"Oh...." I like Cait. I don't know if I like the AI, or if I like the person on the other end of him, but it's sad to think of not trusting him. 

"I'll have to tell all the others tomorrow morning, I guess. This is just... at first I was pissed off, but now I'm just tired. I can't believe we trusted him, and then... And we can't even kick him out. We're just stuck. Might as well _join_ Shinra." 

"It can't be that bad, can it? I mean, they haven't managed to catch us yet." 

He sighed, straightened up, tried to smile reassuringly. "You're right. We can still make it in. We just have to be faster than the Turks. In other words, we're screwed." 

I took the hint to lighten the mood. No need to dwell, I guess. "Oh, come on! You have me. Your ace in the hole. Maybe I'll have some secret Cetra powers that'll get us through." 

"Yeah, I guess there's that." He ran a hand through his hair. A Zack gesture. At least Tifa can get through a conversation with him without putting everything he does into two columns, Zack and not-Zack. She may have her own set of columns, but they can't be as creepy as mine. 

"Hey, um, Aerith?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I, uh, I was kind of surprised you didn't drop by." He's so cute when he's blushing and stammering. Cute, and _himself_. And was he saying he wanted me to have asked him out? 

"Oh. I was gonna do that after my shower. And look, that's what I just did!" He just grinned and shook his head. A Zack thing? I can't decide. "Were you disappointed?" 

"Um, I can't answer that diplomatically, can I?" 

"Nope!" I agreed cheerfully. "You're screwed." 

"Nope, wasn't _that_ kind of date," he said, and it was definitely Zack's grin there, even his tone of voice. I know I was supposed to laugh, but I couldn't. It was really kind of bothering me, so I leaned in and kissed him. Just a quick kiss on the lips, but his eyes got wide. No, Zack didn't react like that the first time I surprised him with a kiss. Good. 

"Um. Um," he said, and ran his fingers over his lips. "What was that for?" 

"Well, that's not very flattering at all," I mock-pouted, and he gave me a put-upon look. "I just wanted to try that once, since I don't get a date with you." 

"Why didn't you?" 

"It was important to Tifa. And I figured I'd have other chances to talk to you, you know?" 

"Yeah, I guess so. Um, talk to me about what?" 

"Oh, you know. Things." I meant to sound teasing, deliberately mysterious. 

"Like what?" I looked at him, and realized he was nervous, like he was expecting me to say something really significant. Well, I had an opening now. Could I just tell him like this how I feel about him? Considering what I do and don't know about him, can I even be sure I'm in love with _him_ and not with a memory, or with whatever makes him so much like Zack? 

I started walking down the hall, and he walked with me. I looked at my feet as I spoke. "...It always bothered me. You look just like... like someone I knew. And you act like him, talk like him a lot of the time, use the same phrases and type of jokes he did. Your walk's the same. You're a different person, but... even the eyes. But I can tell you're different. I keep trying to see... you." 

"Aerith?" he asks, almost in a whisper. "I'm right here. What are you talking about?" 

"I'm.... it's hard to explain. The... I don't know, the real you. That's what I'm looking for." I stopped in the middle of the hall, turned to face him, but I couldn't look up at him yet. 

"But... Aerith...." He touched my arm, very lightly. I looked up at him, not ashamed of the tears in my eyes. He just looked horribly confused and kind of scared, and that's an expression Zack would never have let anyone see, not even me. 

"I think I see you sometimes," I said. "I just... wish... I don't know. I'm sorry, Cloud. I guess it's just as well you went with Tifa, because I would have been kind of a depressing date." 

"I like spending time with you," he told me, seriously. "Even if you are really weird sometimes." His face broke out in a grin, and my smile echoed his, because the way he was smiling was his own, too. Boyish and nervous and kind of happy. He shook the hair out of his face, rather than smoothing it back with his hand, and while I knew he'd be back to normal by morning, if not sooner, I couldn't help being happy. 

"I'm glad," I said, and I kissed him on the cheek and headed for my room. I did glance over my shoulder, to see him staring at me with a look of complete bafflement on his face, but just a glance. I didn't want to see him walking like Zack back to his own room. I don't want to see a familiar look on his face when I finally do tell him I love him. _The rest can wait,_ I tell myself, as I crawl into bed next to Tifa. _I'll tell him everything later._


End file.
